It may be difficult to believe, but counter-offers are always counterproductive for your career. Sure, it's an ego boost, but if you think about it; if you were so valuable, why did you have to resign for your employer to recognize it?

The simple answer is that, unless forced to, most companies don't think about the labor market and how hard it is to find people with your skills. They already have you so there is no need to spend extra money for training or provide a solid career path to keep you. But when you make leaving a reality to them, they may make you a counter-offer. It looks like you're control of your career now. But are you?

The reason that most companies make counter-offers is so that they are in control of the timetable for transition. Typically, the general rule is a two week notice period (maybe three weeks if in a managerial role). That means the company's got to scramble to find a substitute for the mission-critical role you've been filling.  That's why they'll give you more to stay around.  While you're basking in the satisfaction of getting more money and/or a better title, your boss is reviewing resumes and preparing to interview replacements.

You might think that being eliminated would be the worst thing that can happen if you take a counter-offer. Actually, the worst thing is that you stay. From this point forward your loyalty will be suspect and you will be regarded with suspicion from those above and below you in the organization. The end result is, no matter how you behave in the future, you will always be at the bottom of the list for promotions and training. Why would a company invest in someone whose loyalty is questionable?

You'll also be the subject of some "Me Too" fears. Also, if the news leaks out to your co-workers, you may find yourself cut off from certian activities. Management doesn't want your peers to get the idea that they should try the same "Scare tactics" to get what they want.

It's a delicate process to extract yourself with your reputation and relationships intact when a counter-offer is on the table. Here are some key suggestions to handle your exit properly. Regardless of whether or not you intend to return, always preserve the company's respect for you.

• Do not discuss where you are going and what makes the new opportunity so much better.
• Analyze whether or not your current employer is really willing/able to change the original reasons you wanted to leave.
• Take the time to consider their proposal, even if you have no intention of taking it. Tell the manager who makes the counter-offer that you would like to have a day to think it over.
• Use this time to plan your response.
 
• You'll need to be gracious, definite and concise
• "I really appreciate this offer.  It's gratifying to know that the company values me so highly"
• Offer suggestions to help ease the transition
• "I've jotted down some ideas, and thought that we should get together to plan, maybe later today or tomorrow.  I want to be as helpful as I can be during this change."

Remember if you take a counter-offer, it is very likely that you'll be job hunting again in 3 to 6 months. It doesn't matter whether they let you go or you let them go. If you pass on the new opportunity, what's the cost of finding the next one?

Will opportunity knock twice?